Well, I am now freaking out

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Well, I am now freaking out

Post by DroothR on Tue Jan 20, 2009 10:56 am

I go away for a week to visit family, and while I'm away, I have my neighbour collect my mail for me.

We talk a lot, and she seems like a great person, so it seemed like a good idea.

I get back, and she's nowhere to be found (no sign of her cat either).

Her car is outside, her unit is locked up (but the blinds are open).

I was expecting a number of bills, and about $400 worth of stuff in various parcels.

When I returned on Sunday, I had one parcel in my mail box, which suggests that she's been "gone" since Friday or Thursday (which would make for about 5-6 days).

Usually I can't even go out to the mailbox without being wrangled into conversation with her, as her front door is usually open during the day, and her car having been broken into twice last year, she's always wary of it being broken into again.

I don't know what to do. This is all so strange. On one hand, I'm really concerned (I mean, what if she fell and broke her neck or something? I can see into her place well enough to see that her desk looks the same as usual, but it's too hard to see through the curtains beyond that), and on the other hand, I also am worried about my stuff (some of which is impossible to replace)...

pale

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by drspleen on Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:06 am

I'd give it to the end of the week. There could be tonnes of reasons why she's away.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by ragericho on Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:18 pm

Weird,id kick the door down guns blazing ''where my friggin toys bitch'' seriously i would call the police? tell them about it.how many times do you hear on the news people being found dead in there home days,months or even years later.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by The Dr Of Style on Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:44 pm

Jump the fence and see if the back is all locked up too....if she's fallen & done a hip (I'm assuming she's old) she may be stuck in the house, if the back is all locked up then maybe she's gone somewhere......I have the same sort of worry with the older lady across the road, I've had to break into her house 3 times last year as she keeps locking herself out & she really shouldn't be driving either as her mental state has dropped plenty in the last couple of years....at what point do you call the cops and say that you think she's a danger to others.....

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by TheMyth on Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:01 pm

call police. if she didn't say she would be gone I would think that would be the best thing to do.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by TheSweetestThing on Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:11 pm

Best of luck Rob, I'm sure things will work out just fine though.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by DroothR on Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:10 am

Ergh.

Still no sign of her, and now I'm really starting to think about what she said to me a week before my trip, about her Uni related anguish causing her to have suicidal thoughts.

silent

Then today I checked out her car while passing on the way to the mailbox, and noticed that her car wasn't even locked.

Shocked

I went to the local PD, but was quickly dismissed, and told to 'not worry about it' and to "come back in a few days".

Neutral

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by Dabigfella on Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:09 am

Snap, i'd be knocking doors down soon, good luck mate....

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by Rat Fink on Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:59 am

Yeah Mate. I'd be trying to make the cops take the situation a bit more seriously. Tell them you want rto break into the house to make sure. That might prick their attention.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by DroothR on Thu Jan 22, 2009 12:34 pm

Shit, the cat HAS been in there all this time.

Shocked

I screwed with one of her windows, and it's unlocked, but it's chocked to only open about 8 inches wide.

Cat jumped out, and is now just pacing back and forth in front of the door.

I put a bowl of water down, but it's uninterested. It just keeps staring at the front door and meowing loudly.

I'm gonna try to jimmy the window open enough to get in.

Wish me luck...

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by TheMyth on Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:13 pm

holy shit dude. I really hope for the best you don't find anything. good luck, I'm kinda nervous for you.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by Rat Fink on Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:43 pm

Yeah Rob. Fingers crossed.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by DroothR on Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:08 pm

So... breaking and entering... One more thing off my "Bucket List". Embarassed

Good news, she wasn't there.

Bad news, it looks like something bad HAS happened. Sad

There was a note stuck to her PC screen asking her to "please take care of yourself", signed by 4 people. So I surmise that perhaps she's in a hospital, and some people she knew from Uni (or one of the activist groups she associates with) locked up for her, and left a bowl of food for her cat (I had to top up the water though, and brought an additional container of water from my place to make doubly sure the cat had enough to last a fair while, though even so, the heat continues to concern me).

I got in without damaging anything, so after leaving her a note apologising for what I did, explaining my concern, and wishing her well, I locked it up.

But now I feel terrible. pale

Still trying to wrap my head around everything, I took my stack of mail with me when I went home to write the note (I didn't want to touch ANY of her stuff, not even a pen, hence why I took an extra container of water of my own, instead of looking for a bowl). Now my mail is sitting here (a cherished wedding invitation amongst it), and I can't even look at it, because I know that finding out the status of my mail was something I was concerned about in addition to the the wellbeing of my neighbour and her cat, and now I feel guilty(?) for having taken it back with me.

Is that normal? Is what I did wrong? I'm relieved that the cat is ok, and that I didn't find my trusted neighbour deceased, and it felt like I was doing the noble thing at the time, but now it just feels like I've invaded her privacy.

I don't know what to feel now...

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by Dabigfella on Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:37 pm

Nah man you did what i would of done 100%, yours is yours, and no-one can question your intentions, crack the wedding invo and hope for the best for your neighbour.....

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by Xenaphobia on Thu Jan 22, 2009 2:38 pm

Hmmmmmmm.

I'd be tempted to leave the "breaking and entering" part out of your adventures and perhaps just say that the back door was open so you ducked inside to check on her well-being because you were concerned.

Depending on your friendship with this woman, she now basically has a written confession that you broke into her home and took items from inside it (even though technically the mail was YOURS). Heck, even entering through an open door and taking stuff may be cause for a complaint (again, depending on her view of things).

Actually, I'd be tempted to go and retrieve the note, return the mail (unless you've opened it) and pretend it all never happened. Let her think that one of her friends fed and watered the cat.

And there's no need to feel guilty. I'm sure your primary motivator was your neighbour's wellbeing, NOT your mail/toys.

Good luck.

Cheers.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by DroothR on Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:24 pm

Xenaphobia wrote:I'd be tempted to leave the "breaking and entering" part out of your adventures and perhaps just say that the back door was open so you ducked inside to check on her well-being because you were concerned.
Not applicable, being a 2nd floor unit, with only 1 door.

Anyways, I just had a visit from her father, who read my note.

He thanked me for my concern, and told me that she's been unwell (he didn't say it, but from what he said it sounds like she's been in a psych ward), and may be coming out in a few days.

So glad that it didn't turn out to be something worse.

Thanks for being a sounding board for my seeming delerium, everyone. Smile

P.S. How odd... I just realised that he only knew where I was, because I added my Unit number after my name on the note I left. The note was to my neighbour, she knows which unit I'm in, so why did I put it there in the first place? Yet if I did not, her father couldn't have known who/where the person who left that not was, and if that was the case, I would not have had the closure that I now have, and peace of mind knowing that it wasn't something as bad as it could have been. Which makes one wonder about free will versus things that are destined to happen, and one's place in the universe, and... hmmm... maybe I should be the one in a psych ward...

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by ragericho on Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:29 pm

I think what you did was the right thing to do especially since the idiot cops didnt give a rats arse she could of been dead,I think the only way you will feel better about it is when you actually get to talk to her about it and get it off your chest.But man i could just imagine he drum roll beating in your head as you where going in never knowing what you may have found.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by TheMyth on Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:48 pm

no matter what anyone says, you did the right thing. Her father coming around and thanking you is proof of this, many people just wouldn't care if anything had happened or not. You sir took the noble high ground in my eyes.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by creecher on Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:10 pm

That's quite an exciting read. You did what you had to do after trying the cops. So much for their community concern.

Maybe she needed some support, to fend off her suicidal thoughts, and is staying with a relative or friend, or has even checked herself into a mood disorder unit, which might account for her not being able to get back to her unit to feed her cat. At least she has four friends minimum, which is more than me.

Now what's this about your sudden lack of ability to see through her curtains as well as you used to? Your memory loss surrounding your breaking into her car is also of concern. Why you had to plant your mail in her house ,as an excuse to break into her house, while she was on holidays is pure genius.

Yeah, I know tactless and not that funny neither. I hope she shows up safe and sound. She sounds like she's doing it tough. She'll probably be impressed with your genuine concern for her.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by UncleCletusKasady on Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:14 pm

Mate seriously if you didn't do those things that you did i would have thought it weird, in this day and age people do tend to keep to themselves and not really care or pay attention to others around them so it's good to see somebody with some good old fashioned values. thumbs up1
You may have had more than one reason to do what you did but thats irrelevant as you went in first and foremost to check on her.
And im not one to back the cops up but they maybe already knew otherwise they are assholes.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by NiteOwl on Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:40 pm

Good work Rob, I wish this sense of community would carry over to all aspects of life.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by Rat Fink on Thu Jan 22, 2009 7:06 pm

Rob, you did what was right. You were concerned (as I was) about your neighbour's well being. I know what you're saying/feeling but don't sweat it. You're a good person and for you to doubt that is ridiculous.

I hope it all works out.

At the end of the day Rob, your actions prove what a considerate, concerned guy you are.

I wish you were my neighbour.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by YJ on Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:51 am

Questioning your actions is a healthy response. Lots of workplaces have mandatory debriefings after events occur. You did all the right things and let's be honest it could have been a lot worse. Imagine how you would feel if you had done nothing and she hadn't been alright?

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by The Dr Of Style on Fri Jan 23, 2009 5:17 am

Yep .....what they all said above..... It's that little voice in your head that gives you warnings at different times (there was some Oprah show on it) that something isn't right, it pays to listen to it/investigate /avoid a situation

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

Post by DroothR on Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:25 pm

My neighbour dropped by earlier today (having heard about what happened from her father). Apparently she's not through with whatever's going on yet, but she just wanted to stop by to thank me for my concern (and to warn me not to trust any of the other neighbours in out unit block silent).

She seems ok physically, so that's good. But she didn't seem... "well".

I guess for now I'll just keep an eye on her unit as she requested (I assume her father will take care of the cat), and hope for the best.

So now I can rest easy(er).

-

Thanks so much everyone.

I have no relatives on this side of the state, and all of my closest friends moved away last year, leaving me with a small group of spread out friends whom I rarely get to see, so you all here are the closest thing I have to a consistent community that I am a part of. A better group I could not want to find.

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Re: Well, I am now freaking out

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